so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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