she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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