if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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