Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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