Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I see more hoeing in ur future
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
