she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My pussy is not your playground.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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