they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
