Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
