Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize