hotel room ftw
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
