Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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