I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
