where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
