Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
