So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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