Me. At least after what I've been through.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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