Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
