I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
