So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Green mimosas i think yes
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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