i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Bring me that man meat
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
