so that wasnt chicken after all
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
