no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
