I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
