no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
