Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Randomize
