You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
