He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
