I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
pray to the hookup gods
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
