just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
