Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
