I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
