her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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