It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I am spending my child support on dildos
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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