I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
