Heybabeimwearingurpanties
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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