there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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