I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
