We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
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