Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
