it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
