He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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