Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
