no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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