I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Who died my cat blue again?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
