i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
