Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
