I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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