3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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