i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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