Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
