do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
