is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
